i'm just lucky...

malas (malas), adj.
walàng-suwerte, sawî, kasamaang palad

my middle name is malasmas... it would seem like a foreboding of what it is to live my life... and on days when i drink too much coffee and actually get high and inebriated on the night before my final philo orals, i kinda think that way. but on most days, especially when i have an hour or so to get away from my usual hustle and bustle, i realize how fortunate i am (compared to the baudelaire orphans...bad analogy so i put them in parentheses, haha).

i don't have the best name, body or house. but i do have everything i need to live. i am not the most beautiful of girls but i am surrounded by people whose beauty emmanate from inside and influence me greatly. i don't always know or say the right things but i have a mother who imparted values that i have helped me become a better person. i have everything to live my life the way that i should live it.

i am lucky.

thinking on line...

i've been thinking a lot lately... especially since the holy week just passed and easter as well. picturing resurrection always gives me a sense of hope. i just want to be truly happy. not that i'm a sad, sad person but because i know that i don't live my life the way it should be lived... there are so many things i need to do.

i have to strenghten my resolve as i am growing older and i believe more mature. there was a phase that i was just levelling and now i realize that i need to move forward. now, i'm at the point that everything is finally sinking into place and i should take action to make sure that those are the places that i want things to sink into...

i'm actually satisfied at where i am spiritually and cognitively. i don't mean that i am content and i want to remain in this state. i'm in the state of renewal. i have a good perspective of myself and where i am at. i'm turning back on the things that take up so much of my time but then were not really for me. i'm looking toward the murky future that only i can clear up and take hold of.

lately...

i haven't been updating recently and i guess it's a matter of prioritizing and mapping out the things to do in each day... i guess this is what i need...

anyway so many new things going on but i guess what i want to go on here would be that of rediscovering and realizing true, genuine friends...

from kaka's blog (december meet)


this was during december and i realized how much i missed my barkada. i think from this time we reached a sort of pinnacle in our friendships in a sense that we became a lot closer and we discovered our future together. reliving the past is always fun and sentimental but even more important is to project that bond into the future and actually make those moments together count. thank you dyan, arla, kaka, jamie, joyce... i wish though that bambi and the twins were much more a part of this...

(here's more of the cubao adventure)


and then we have block Y... these people are really great.. it was a friendship formed by mutuality and necessity but it really works... haha! the weirdest, most touching thing these people have given me was our pre-grad party... crazy kids! (will talk more about that night in another post.. coming soon!)

(pic from that night...)


and then i realize who my greatest and true friends are... these people who really, completely accept me for who i am and inspire me to be the best me i can be...