one month

i would like to say that i am not lost, that i am on the right track but i can't. i just wish that i could could leave all my baggage in one place without any of it haunting me. oh well.

i used to think that when i was busy and had a lot of things going i would happy. well, i'm busy now and i'm doing a lot of things with orgs and acads but it's not there. i just dissected a cat, attended a meeting, was generally okay in dealing with people but it doesn't seem to register that much to me. it's like i'm in a life that i don't really get to experience. i'm just coasting along, hoping for something great to happen, waiting for the highlights.

i don't get to see my old friends whom i really miss. i don't get to go out and just have fun. i don't get the time and opportunity to do the things i really want to. really shallow things but they make life bearable.

even though the politics involved in kythe hurt me a lot, it's one of the things in my miserable existence that actually makes me feel happy. that life has meaning.so i love it. i love the kids. i love doing stuff for it.

i guess this larry thing has got me down. i really believe in this guy who exudes passion for what he does. it's inspiring. and he loses the chance for it to be his year, his shining moment. but then, after hearing him in that interview i can't help but be even more inspired. he actually accepts what has happened to him and hopes that the team will do good. i wish there were more people like him. i wish i could be this kind of person.

one month has passed and a lot has happened.