hmm i wanna watch me some movies....

i'm thinking about movies that i want to watch since i feel that i was sucked into a vortex that made me forget about my love for just plain escaping into the worlds and minds that a film can bring us into...
i'll figure it out later on since i'm kinda busy right now.

hope to continue doing this...

goshers! haha! i am not a blog person and i probably will never be!!! mwahaha!!!

oh my gawsh!

It's been more than a year since i last posted. haha! so so much has happened. i became a geek but then i worked through my addiction and so i don't use the internet too much except for communicating with other people. but now it's primetime again. sembreak! woo hoo!

ok, so i promised that i would update more

i just experienced the most tiring and confusing and difficult and exhilirating three weeks of my life. i guess this is medschool... it's so new and it really needs getting used to. i have to get over so many things. the distance, the people, the environment... there are so so many changes that i need to move so fast to adapt. so i'm trying to do all that. god help me.

has it been that long?

haha! i have not written anything here for the longest time but i decided to make it a ritual so that it does not go to waste. haha! so anyway, i'm really tired but happy at the same time. this has been a very weird week. i just accepted the fact that college life has ended and certain goodbyes were already made but now i'm starting out in another school. and it's sort of like i diverted back into highschool. this is crazy! haha! i don't want to make any judgments because the experience is too new so i won't hold anything as final.

well... a new phase of my weird life but i hope this doesn't become some sort of medschool diaries or a written version of scrubs (though that would be really cool). I just want to finally do the things that i want to without idling or putting them off. i won't hesitate or wait for the best timing anymore.

so there.

i'm just lucky...

malas (malas), adj.
walàng-suwerte, sawî, kasamaang palad

my middle name is malasmas... it would seem like a foreboding of what it is to live my life... and on days when i drink too much coffee and actually get high and inebriated on the night before my final philo orals, i kinda think that way. but on most days, especially when i have an hour or so to get away from my usual hustle and bustle, i realize how fortunate i am (compared to the baudelaire orphans...bad analogy so i put them in parentheses, haha).

i don't have the best name, body or house. but i do have everything i need to live. i am not the most beautiful of girls but i am surrounded by people whose beauty emmanate from inside and influence me greatly. i don't always know or say the right things but i have a mother who imparted values that i have helped me become a better person. i have everything to live my life the way that i should live it.

i am lucky.

thinking on line...

i've been thinking a lot lately... especially since the holy week just passed and easter as well. picturing resurrection always gives me a sense of hope. i just want to be truly happy. not that i'm a sad, sad person but because i know that i don't live my life the way it should be lived... there are so many things i need to do.

i have to strenghten my resolve as i am growing older and i believe more mature. there was a phase that i was just levelling and now i realize that i need to move forward. now, i'm at the point that everything is finally sinking into place and i should take action to make sure that those are the places that i want things to sink into...

i'm actually satisfied at where i am spiritually and cognitively. i don't mean that i am content and i want to remain in this state. i'm in the state of renewal. i have a good perspective of myself and where i am at. i'm turning back on the things that take up so much of my time but then were not really for me. i'm looking toward the murky future that only i can clear up and take hold of.